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Wine began around 6000 BCE when someone in the Caucasus forgot grapes in a pot and came back to find the juice had turned into divine chaos. The Egyptians drank it ceremonially, the Greeks claimed it was Dionysus’s blood, and the Romans turned it into an empire-wide industry—because of course they did. Monks kept the tradition alive through medieval gloom, perfecting vineyards between vows of silence and passive-aggressive Latin. Now it’s everywhere, from gas stations to Michelin-star cellars—still just fermented grapes, but with centuries of myth, conquest, and tipsy ambition in every sip…….